LisaKae, you are not alone. I have no kids and a good well paying job. Its safe to say that the longer youre in a relationship with a narcissist, the longer youll have to wonder will the narcissist come back after dumping you?. Narcissists may respond either particularly well or particularly poorly to breakups. I felt super uncomfortable. They will drain you If you stay! No! The trip is perfect. Get involved with local charities, youth group, elderly home, or work on a a political campaign. The abuse continued but I bought 2 doorknobs with key locks. Find a therapist who understands narcissism, blame another person for a mutually caused failure, respond to social rejection with outsized anger and aggression, Narcissistic Admiration and Rivalry Concept, narcissistic individuals vary in the extent to which they are high in both of these dimensions, narcissistic rivalry is associated with poorer interactions, experience more anger when they have conflicts with romantic partners, Easy Ways to Tell Whether Youre an Inadvertent Narcissist, perceive their current partners positively, Playing Favorites Gives a Narcissistic Co-Parent Control, Why Extremists and Hate Groups Often Play the Victim, "The Menu" and the Narcissism of High-End Dining. It was totally invalidating and then I would do it because somehow I was trying to show him that if he didnt care enough to answer me, or speak to me when he came home, then I would not give him his peace he demanded). The things he said and did to you? I know what its like to live with someone with NPD, its awful! It was stupid, and it made me doubt myself and simply feel pathetic. When he arrived. He treated me as if I was completely optional in his life. He promptly messages me on my phone: I in no way want to open the door, youre a crap a**, crappy, bad personetc. Its like, why not just leave it alone! With my current situation I decided going back last month. My ex narc (45) left me for a (30) whom he claim were just friends. The longer youre together, the more time the narcissist has to learn your idiosyncrasies and how to control you. Newcomer. (3) To be promoted in your office (4) Do you want a child. ( God this story will go on forever just a fair warning.). It was a horrible split-up.I ignored him, totally..but he wouldnt stop..and still continues to this day.I should have known something was way wrong with him in the very beginning, he always spoke of how he was getting DSS to investigate some old GF..always hurting someone, because they had to levae his abusive ass! Not its wrong. He said I wouldnt have to do that with him because he wouldnt stick around where hes not wanted. I have friends that are stuck with man like this for years. Sent one photo of himself crying. Lack of emotional empathy: This means that they do not feel your pain. Later that same month he did not come home and called me that he wanted a divorce, I asked what I did wrong to deserve this from him, everything he was saying he wants a divorce that hates me and does not want To see me again in His life, I was crazy and also frustrated I do not know what to do, I was sick for more than 2 weeks due to divorce. Its the latter part of that statement that really matters to the narcissist though; the feeling diminishes the longer youre in a relationship with them. And I find out he has adds on sex sites and apps and has been screwing around more trying to groom Some one to move to the next. Uh. only to relive the same nightmare 4 months after taking him back I know it is not easy when you truly love the NCP not to mention having their children. Even when I was at my lowest they seem too get great pleasure out it. You are still there, you are still smart, strong, capable. Ladies please dont walk RUN!! He still tries to get back at me, indirectly. I moved 400 miles away..He cant bother me because he cant contact me ..So yes no contact and not letting them know where you are is the only way to be safe from a Narcissist person. When you add that less than 1 in 100 people have an NPD then its clear this label is being used to manipulate people. Narcs supporting and colluding with narcs. I explained that I have to finish school, that I really cannot afford a child, that I was SLEEPING when he impregnated me. How to Keep Her Interested Over Text: Texting Dos And Dont, The Right Way to Compliment a Girls Eyes. You will see the light, it might be months, years, but know its a better life without this blood sucking guys!! Things can only work out in your relationship only if you give chance to the right person to assist you. Dont let them sneak back in after no contact has succeeded. A breakup resets the whole cycle though, especially if you have the time and strength to get your mental health back to what it was before the narcissistic relationship. Tried to be ridiculously pragmatic about me moving out and diving up the things ( didnt want to discuss anything about the relationship, just bills, details). They are very self-centered. I was shocked because I havent seen or heard from him for more than 3 months. childs sake. While narcissistic admiration and rivalry tend to be correlated with each other, narcissistic individuals vary in the extent to which they are high in both of these dimensions. But maybe Im wrong, maybe he will contact me at some point. Thank you for the great info and strength to stay no contact.. Im assuming theyre still together, does this mean hell leave me along? As unfortunately I paid a hell of a price for it. As much as I wanted to respond, I would walk away or simply state that I was not going to argue. I am on the mend still and again ; this time without the support group that I previously had ! The rage, the pure evil and, yes, the vicious slander / character assassination to make him the victim and me the monster and to discredit me to prevent his exposure. I know is really hard to stay alone without your lover been around you, I was in the same situation for 6 months till I find a solution, we both fall in love with each other and we got married but after 1 year of our marriage everything was changing after he got a new job in a new city, we where still talking on phone when he move to where he now working after spending just 2 months there, everything changed he stop calling me and any time i call him a lady will pick his call i was wondering what is happening till he called me that he was getting a divorce i was surprise to hear that from him i thought it was a joke till it happened then I realize I cant stay without him so i began to look for a solution then i came across Dr. EKPEN of EKPEN TEMPLE on the internet who helped me to bring my lover back. I was worried because I saw things in him that I didnt like: he worked alot due to the nature of his business and time was short, but even so, I was always on the back burner. Thanks to the information I was able to research, I learned a huge amount of information on the subject. When a narcissist is in a relationship with someone they become part of the narcissist. Three months this time and not going back. I feel devastated as I think she was a wonderful person and I messed things up so badly. They cant take criticism or to be told no. Recognize the initial signs of a narc & steer clear! Saying. There arent enough demons in hell to take me back to that hole I literally had to be drug out of. The way he conducted himself after i left him, well..it showed his mental problems clearly. A few weeks later, we were dating. Please see a therapist to help you deal with this person in a way that will lessen future damage . He said some hurtful things and when I said he was been cruel, he replied as I am a very honest person, it is just the truth. I was already getting help for codependency but the more I learn I realized what he was..a monster..he kept me isolated from the world and the autism didnt help it either. I fell into the oh Im a cool girl, I dont care, whatever trap. Even though they had ended the relationship they continued to ask for sex!!! He started sending me messages in instagram. A baby is a baby, I personally had no clue what was transpiring yet. ? Stay Strong, get counciling. It would have been nothing today but for your help. Please reply if you read this, I need a lot of support. I have tried only a few times to describe the indescribable world by jumping from incident to incident with the stories half told due to another story that meshes with the first and sounding so crazy to someone and the anxiety one feels while trying to even put into words what nobody could fathom unless they have experienced such a hell. I was in Hospital for about 2.5 weeks and when admitted I was extremely weak from malnutrition, I had broken ribs, 2 fairly large lacerations on the lower part of my left leg, another on my left knee and gashed knuckles on my right hand. He was very careless with our the finances, something was always past due or in danger of being disconnected. He stopped answering my calls and my sms and he stopped seeing me regularly. you pick the best symbol. The principles of, The Secret always resonated with me but I never truly applied it to my, life.I started keeping a journal and daily I would write things like I am so happy and grateful now that we are in love again. Everything was so perfect and good between us. Good luck for the woman he is living with now. I do however wish that the narcissist depicted was made gender neutral. So he text me the other day with photos of him crying with my engagement ring on I gave him. Thought fate had stepped in! He has admitted to me he cant live without love, he tells me that she really likes him (there is the adoration he is after, the reflection of granduer) I imagine she has supported his tragic tales of what he had to put up with from me. I really dont know what to do. He patted my sons head and said, Dont worry, we will find a good home for you. Like wow! Seek legal consultation, or do research on this custody hearings, so you are prepared. Narcissists need to be validated, and in this case, proven right. I have been trying to get a divorce for over a year now from my N and though there are many reasons why the process is taking so long, he has moved back in with his mother and has temporary custody of our daughter. He asked me why I would want to do such a thing. He too was in middle of divorce. And then I feel sad. even your own kids.. until someone gets seriously hurt whether its mental, emotional, or physical. I saw it on his pc. Narcissists are not likely to view any agreement as fair or just. He lies to her about me and lies to me about her with an attempt to turn her against me as he would love to see me ultimately destroyed. Folks, whether men or women, these people (?) Thanks! I am tired and want to get out of this world . They can boost themselves up, or they can bring other people down. I am not in contact with my son, as he is still manipulating him, but im hoping that he will come around in his own time, I am NOT saying this is easy. I dont want to sound like a mean person, as I am sure you have reasons for posting this information. I went through a situation this time last year where my ex narc seperated me and our child by using my reaction to his abuse. .. Enlighten her by telling her what I know about her, and tell her to enjoy her amusement while it lasts. Hes no good ???? Some are harrassing, some just dont comply with my requests to stay away, some email like years latera matter of time. 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